On Diversity
You like diversity. Even if you think you don't, you do. You like diversity so much that you don't even notice it. It's so fundamental to your basic existence that it's virtually impossible to imagine a world without it.
Let's think about it. A diverse world is one that contains something other than yourself. I would expect you to understand why a world of just you would totally suck, but if I have to explain this fucking diversity shit to you, then maybe you don't get this either.
A world of nothing but you would be hell. Theoretically speaking, of course, it would either be a universe where you are the only thing in existence, with no one to talk to, or fuck, or one populated by billions of things, all of them being you. As in, you are you and you are also the toaster and you are also the hair that grows on Danny Devito's neck. You are everything. These two are really just one in the same because in either scenario there is nothing to experience or learn learn, nothing would change, there would be no time, you would hardly even exist, and even then only as a frozen, motionless, unmoving, and unmovable space-filler.
To avoid this, we look for differences. Differences in sex, for example, are what drive our evolving biology. By design, and in order to advance our species, men typically look for vaginas instead of buttholes. We look for different people to show us their different body parts so we can make a different person. I don't want me to show me my wee willy winky so i can make another me. One me is enough. We've been over this.
We look for differences for other reasons too. Whenever I see Maribel working the counter at the bagel shop I wish for a different person because she toasts my bagel even when I tell her not to and doesn't put on NEARLY enough cream cheese. When I lose my sister's kid in the sea of children on the playground, I frantically look for differences between the kids picking their nose by the swingset and the kids picking their nose by the jungle gym. And when I spot my nephew's different thing--his defining characteristics that make him different from the other kids--I take him to the arcade where we spend $40 on tokens and play different games cause the same one the whole time would get really old.
They say opposites attract, but to be precise, differences attract. I was attracted to my ex girlfriend because she is more confident and outgoing than I am. I admired her strong personality as something I could learn from, not as qualities opposite of mine. In the end, it was our differences that led to our break up, and for good reason. Her insistence that we communicate and my insistence that we not. We weren't meant to be, and our differences helped us see that so that we could learn about what to look for in a future partner.
More than that, our differences help define us. It is by recognizing them that we come to understand our own individuality. I'm Joey. I drink way too many AZ Iced Teas and I've suddenly become much more politically engaged than I ever was (which was not at all). And I'm different from you because you're Randy and you only drink Miller Lite and you've kept abreast of political affairs for years because you are a proud gun owner and don't want to see the government further limit your 2nd Amendment rights. We are not the same person. And that's ok. I've got a lot to learn from you and your life in the ghost town of Independence, CA and you've got a lot to learn from me and my life in New York City. We have different roots and therefore different perspectives. Sharing them makes both of us smarter. (And smarter is better than dumber, I don't have to explain that one too, do I?).
The only opportunity you have to get smarter is to encounter differences. If everything was the same, you would know it all and you would just stay stupid. But since the world is full of different things, you have the opportunity to learn all the fucking time. Especially now that there is this internet thing. I hear it's popular. Every time you come across something new in your town or in the newspaper or on Facebook or on the forums for your Scrabble club you learn something. You learn something when you meet a new person. You learn something when you try asking for "pico de gallo" at Chipotle because you're not entirely sure if they'll give you the same thing they give you when you say "tomatoes." And when you meet someone different from you, you get to learn about their country and their values. Everyone can teach you SOMETHING.
We look for diversity in almost everything we do. It makes sense that we would look for it in our social and cultural interactions as well. Diverse perspectives in business help create new product demand; in medicine they help diagnose and treat curable diseases; in religion they help you remember that Scientology is literally a cult and should never be taken seriously for even one goddamn second.
All of this helps us grow our society together. When you learn something and share it with me, I in turn share it with your mom (who I'm sleeping with, by the way), who shares it with her bridge partner, who tells her son, who is married to another man whose brother is a local councilman, who adds an agenda to the monthly meeting that later gets the attention of a state senator who thinks it's a GENIUS idea to have a Senior Citizen lane on the freeway. So she musters support from her colleagues and ouila, new laws improving society are born. Oddly enough, your mom is always involved one way or another.
When we teach each other the things we learn we get collectively smarter so that we can solve problems that all of us deal with on a regular basis. We can only solve those problems by recognizing, valuing, and learning from differences. And once we solve some of the world's most basic problems--like why some people have to be mean to other people and other people don't have food to eat, and healthcare is so expensive that frankly it just costs too much to keep living--we can move on to more exciting things like exploring outer space and maybe finding a new planet to live in once we deplete this one of all of its resources and searching the rest of the universe for more life forms to have sex with. In other words, you stupid racists are holding us back from amazing alien sex. THANKS A FUCKING LOT.
Let's think about it. A diverse world is one that contains something other than yourself. I would expect you to understand why a world of just you would totally suck, but if I have to explain this fucking diversity shit to you, then maybe you don't get this either.
A world of nothing but you would be hell. Theoretically speaking, of course, it would either be a universe where you are the only thing in existence, with no one to talk to, or fuck, or one populated by billions of things, all of them being you. As in, you are you and you are also the toaster and you are also the hair that grows on Danny Devito's neck. You are everything. These two are really just one in the same because in either scenario there is nothing to experience or learn learn, nothing would change, there would be no time, you would hardly even exist, and even then only as a frozen, motionless, unmoving, and unmovable space-filler.
To avoid this, we look for differences. Differences in sex, for example, are what drive our evolving biology. By design, and in order to advance our species, men typically look for vaginas instead of buttholes. We look for different people to show us their different body parts so we can make a different person. I don't want me to show me my wee willy winky so i can make another me. One me is enough. We've been over this.
We look for differences for other reasons too. Whenever I see Maribel working the counter at the bagel shop I wish for a different person because she toasts my bagel even when I tell her not to and doesn't put on NEARLY enough cream cheese. When I lose my sister's kid in the sea of children on the playground, I frantically look for differences between the kids picking their nose by the swingset and the kids picking their nose by the jungle gym. And when I spot my nephew's different thing--his defining characteristics that make him different from the other kids--I take him to the arcade where we spend $40 on tokens and play different games cause the same one the whole time would get really old.
They say opposites attract, but to be precise, differences attract. I was attracted to my ex girlfriend because she is more confident and outgoing than I am. I admired her strong personality as something I could learn from, not as qualities opposite of mine. In the end, it was our differences that led to our break up, and for good reason. Her insistence that we communicate and my insistence that we not. We weren't meant to be, and our differences helped us see that so that we could learn about what to look for in a future partner.
More than that, our differences help define us. It is by recognizing them that we come to understand our own individuality. I'm Joey. I drink way too many AZ Iced Teas and I've suddenly become much more politically engaged than I ever was (which was not at all). And I'm different from you because you're Randy and you only drink Miller Lite and you've kept abreast of political affairs for years because you are a proud gun owner and don't want to see the government further limit your 2nd Amendment rights. We are not the same person. And that's ok. I've got a lot to learn from you and your life in the ghost town of Independence, CA and you've got a lot to learn from me and my life in New York City. We have different roots and therefore different perspectives. Sharing them makes both of us smarter. (And smarter is better than dumber, I don't have to explain that one too, do I?).
The only opportunity you have to get smarter is to encounter differences. If everything was the same, you would know it all and you would just stay stupid. But since the world is full of different things, you have the opportunity to learn all the fucking time. Especially now that there is this internet thing. I hear it's popular. Every time you come across something new in your town or in the newspaper or on Facebook or on the forums for your Scrabble club you learn something. You learn something when you meet a new person. You learn something when you try asking for "pico de gallo" at Chipotle because you're not entirely sure if they'll give you the same thing they give you when you say "tomatoes." And when you meet someone different from you, you get to learn about their country and their values. Everyone can teach you SOMETHING.
We look for diversity in almost everything we do. It makes sense that we would look for it in our social and cultural interactions as well. Diverse perspectives in business help create new product demand; in medicine they help diagnose and treat curable diseases; in religion they help you remember that Scientology is literally a cult and should never be taken seriously for even one goddamn second.
All of this helps us grow our society together. When you learn something and share it with me, I in turn share it with your mom (who I'm sleeping with, by the way), who shares it with her bridge partner, who tells her son, who is married to another man whose brother is a local councilman, who adds an agenda to the monthly meeting that later gets the attention of a state senator who thinks it's a GENIUS idea to have a Senior Citizen lane on the freeway. So she musters support from her colleagues and ouila, new laws improving society are born. Oddly enough, your mom is always involved one way or another.
When we teach each other the things we learn we get collectively smarter so that we can solve problems that all of us deal with on a regular basis. We can only solve those problems by recognizing, valuing, and learning from differences. And once we solve some of the world's most basic problems--like why some people have to be mean to other people and other people don't have food to eat, and healthcare is so expensive that frankly it just costs too much to keep living--we can move on to more exciting things like exploring outer space and maybe finding a new planet to live in once we deplete this one of all of its resources and searching the rest of the universe for more life forms to have sex with. In other words, you stupid racists are holding us back from amazing alien sex. THANKS A FUCKING LOT.
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